Trials to encourage me

In the last 27 days that I have been living in Uganda I have experienced some really tough situations. During the first week here while I was working at the babies home I was having a hard time adjusting to life in Uganda. I also felt like I was really doing more harm than good with these children. I was getting attached to them and vice versa and since I am not going to be able to adopt any of them I was just building them up for hurt. I struggled with the feeling that I wasn't doing any good in Uganda but only harm. I also felt like I wasn't being used much which I have come to realize is one of the major ways that I feel worthy.

I was really looking forward to going to Bethany village to be able to spend time with older kids and have some meaningful conversations. The problem was that when I arrived I had a very hard time with lifestyle. I can usually handle bugs just fine but when they are everywhere all the time including my bed it was just overwhelming. Also the children at Bethany village hardly knew english at all so when I tried to communicate most of it was lost in translation. It didn't help either that they were mostly very shy. In Ugandan culture visitors are to be treated as royality. You are supposed to serve them and not allow them to work. That is the way that I was treated for my whole stay there. I was not allowed to participate in washing dishes or clothes, I was not allowed to help with the cooking and I was not allowed to help with any yard work. I was just served tea and meals. I had really expected to be a part of the family and be involved in everything that they were doing. I was so frustrated with the lack of communication and the feeling of being totally disconnected from the family. On top of everything Becca and I got really sick for the first time. I was really ready to leave Bethany Village after just a few days but I stuck it out the whole time.

When Becca and I came back to life at the babies home everything seemed great for the first couple of days but then things got hard again. Things began to come up with the orginization we had been working for. They were usually just little things like no communication, overcharging us for things and not understanding cultural differences but they finally all became too much. As I prayed about the situation I realized that I had no peace about the situation and continuing to work with ARM. I had to tell them that when I come back from my visit with Pennie's family I will no longer be working with them. It was not a decision that I made lightly but I feel peace about it. I will be living with Coryn for those three week and she has many connections in Kampala and the surrounding areas for me to connect with. I am really excited to see what God has in store for me during that time.

For now I am staying with Pennie and her family for the next 10 days! I really love it here! The first 24 hours that I was here I was introduced to the whole family, I got a tour of the house and garden. I got to play soccer for about 4 hours with the kids. I helped to make matoke, rice, cassava, potatoes and wash dishes. I really feel like part of the family. Everyone talks to me and includes me in everything. I just found out that later today I even get to help make chicken for dinner. Everything from catching it to eating it :) I feel like all of the hard times that I have been through so far have really helped to make me appreciate my time here so much more.

I am so grateful for all of your prayers and support. During every hard time it has encouraged me knowing that I have an incredible support base. Happy 4th of July everyone! Enjoy the fireworks and festivities for me!